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Magi Loupe

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Circuit Court New Orleans

Crazy Johnnie's Steak House
3520 18th Street
Metairie, LA

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2/03

Yep, it's official, Johnnie is definitely crazy. That's a good thing, 'cause if Johnnie ever gets hold of her senses the prices on her steaks are going to go up about five bucks.

The price to taste ratio is indeed in your favor. $11.95 for a nice thick filet, a humongous pile of chunky, buttery, skins-on mashed potatoes, and some weird, fake looking slice of tomotoe (bonus "e" for you Dan Quayle groupies). I should say a word about the steak first, and that word is Holy crap! What a steak! It's firm yet juicy. It's chewy but still meltingly tender. Why, it's beefy-riffic! It's a supernova of meaty flavor, doing the hippy-hippy shake all over your taste buds. Seriously, silly metaphors don't do this steak justice. You gotta experience it, man. It's said to be "Prime" beef, but I don't have a clue as to what those beef grading scales mean. All I know is what my mouth tells me, and my mouth tells me, in a sonorous and soothing voice, that it's good meat! They also slice up pieces of filet for a sandwich at lunch for something like six bucks, an outrageous steal of a price for stuff this yummy.

Also for the tasting but not quite as good is the "Dipping Bread": plain old French bread served with a bowlful of spicy brown butter sauce that tastes suspiciously like the barbecued shrimp sauce. Hey wait! It IS the barbecued shrimp sauce! Not terrible, but sort of spartan for a dish by itself. A better option is the Crawfish Johnnie appetizer for $4.95, a big ladle of creamy crawfish sauce over croutons, spicy and rich.

A couple things you need to know. First, you must buy a drink. Not necessarily the adult kind, but some sort of beverage, and the refills ain't free. It's how they can keep their prices so low and still stay in business. Second, there's the smoke. The cigarette smoke is oppressively thick, and for me it's a problem. I just don't like secondhand smoke, especially while I'm eating. Don't get the impression that I'm one of these anti-smoking nut jobs -- quite the contrary. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, I say. I'll just eat somewhere else if it gets unbearable. But the meat is worth it. I also like the fact that they don't pretend to have a non-smoking section. The place is small, and the smoke is going to go everywhere anyway. But oh, the meat. There's a large L-shaped bar wrapped around one side of the place where smokers gleefully indulge their nasty habit. But dear god, the meat!

So check it out for yourself. Bring an oxygen mask if you'd like. Johnnie won't mind -- she's crazy!


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Contact Magistrate Loupe at magistrate@neworleans.com

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